I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
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No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.