What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream