I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
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I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.