I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.