So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
