He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
