I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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