sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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