alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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