Duck Duck Cougar?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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