Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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