i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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