I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize