Is it normal to miss your booty call?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
