And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm like, not good at living.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
