I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
