now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
