oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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