happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
