My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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