you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
