Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i now understand why vodka
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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