So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize