she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
