absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.