Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
