i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
