remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
