i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
