We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize