I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
