I will die if light touches me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
