This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
