Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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