Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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