If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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