white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
