He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
