I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
