kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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