Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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