god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If that was your dad, he is hot
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
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