Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
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you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store