my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We named our party play list daddy issues
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet