I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
