dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
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Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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