Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
