Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.