i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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