I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.