He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?