Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
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i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.