I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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