I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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