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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  what do i owe you?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  $237.46 to be exact.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?

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• (347): View more from New York

  Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?

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