What a fucking waste of an outfit
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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