In the future we'll all be gay
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
