the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
