All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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