you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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