do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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