At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
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Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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