My sheets look like a crime scene.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
