there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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